hongkongsuperstar's Xanga

Monday, February 16, 2009

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:14:22 GMT

We really are brothers....

Oliver: haha
Oliver: poop time
Oliver: brb

Huanger: HAHAHAHA
Huanger: i'm just about to go poo

Oliver: haha nice

Huanger: we're brothers
Oliver: we're brothers

Huanger: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oliver: HAHAHAHA

Oliver: DAAAAAAAAANGIT
Huanger: DANGIT

Sent at 10:58 PM on Sunday

hahahahaha, daaaangit.....

Monday, September 22, 2008

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:50:13 GMT

Self-Publicity Entry

Okay. So most of you know me for what I am: a talentless, ungifted, goofy-looking, awkward person. Who has a lot of enthusiasm. And that's in line with my personal motto: All heart, no talent.

It explains the marathon in 2006 that I ran without training for, on a torn IT band in my right leg. I limped my way through for a 5:15 finish.

It explains the World Championship Jalapeno Eating Contest I placed 6th in, behind the big names of competitive eaters like Sonya Thomas, Pat Bertoletti, and Rich LeFevre, despite being previously unable to take the heat of anything marked past "Mild." I ended up putting down 53 jalapenos in 8 minutes.

And it explains my next project, to take place sometime in October. Supposedly, the U.S. record for most miles run in 48 hours is 203, and it was set in a race last year(?). The record holder is a guy that runs about a marathon every morning. I'm attempting something close to that. I'm going to run a non-stop, unsupported 200 miles from Houston to Austin. No, I haven't trained for it, nor will I.* I'm just going to take two days off of work, run to Austin, and catch a ride back to Houston.

*Too many people ask about training. But to me, that's the silliest question. Why would I do a run that I train for? How would that be challenging? How is it exciting to see someone do something they are PREPARED to do? It's like seeing Michael Jordan dunk a basketball. Of course he can do it; he trained for it! I want to see a TODDLER dunk. MUCH more significant, don't you think?

Also, I'm looking for a charity that I could fundraise for with this run. Any suggestions? Hurricane Ike relief organizations?

P.S. - I'm taking bets. Any takers?

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:15:05 GMT

I can't date just any girl.

There is a specific list of qualifications she must meet. For most guys, this list may highlight such things as personality type, religion, and cup size, but I have a unique item: she must not have already met my brother.

I like my brother. Also, I am like my brother. We are so similar. We are so god-dang like the same person, that you could say to us, "want ice cream cone?" and both of us say "yes." Except...........

My brother is better than me.

I can sometimes stay on key when I sing, but...
He has perfect pitch.

I attract lots of attention and smiles on the dance floor, but...
He attracts positive attention and smiles of admiration on the dance floor.

I may be really, really, ridiculously good-looking, but...
He is like Hansel; he's so hot right now.

I can bench press the bar, but...
He can bench press me.

I can make girls laugh when they see me, but...
He can make girls laugh when they talk to him.

He can run pretty fast, while...
I can run... Microsoft Office.

He can play lots of musical instruments, while...
I know how to spell the names of lots of musical instruments.

He can throw a good party, while...
I once invited over 150 people to my own birthday party, and the first person to show up was 3 hours late.

He graduated from college, while...
I failed 4 math classes in HIGH SCHOOL.

He is so sweet, while...
I threatened to beat him up if he ever grew taller than me (to this day, I remain about 1/16" taller).

So, you see? Unless she is just trying to be charitable, there's no way a girl would pick me over my brother. For me to introduce a girl to my brother is the equivalent of saying, "yeah, I'm not interested, and to prove it, I'm going to rule myself out."

Conclusion:
- If you're a girl, and I've introduced you to my brother, don't worry: I just want to be friends.
- If you're a girl, and I have NOT introduced you to my brother, then please go out with me. That way I already lock you into some sort of commitment before you meet him. Thanks for your cooperation.

P.S. - Coming soon: Top 10 Compilation of my best entries, in light of the apparent near-demise of Xanga.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 14:27:12 GMT

In tribute to the only person I subscribe to that actually posts on Xanga, I have made an Anna Chen-style post, and listed the itinerary of my recent weekends. What do you think? Pretty dull, huh?

Friday - Saturday - Sunday, September 7/8/9 (The 16-hours-of-KTV-in-a-day Weekend)

10:00 PM - 01:00 AM - All-you-can-drink Wine-Tasting Party
05:00 AM - 12:00PM - SLEEP (5 HOURS).
09:00 PM - 12:00 AM - Seafood dinner involving 2.5 liters of beer.
12:30 AM - 07:30 AM - KTV, singing some songs 5 times.
10:30 AM - 12:30 PM - SLEEP (2 HOURS).
01:00 PM - 10:00 PM - KTV, singing the same songs we sang the previous night another 6 times.
10:00 PM - 12:00 AM - Night market.
12:00 AM - 05:00 AM - Movies on my computer.
05:00 AM - 10:00 AM - SLEEP (5 HOURS).

Friday - Saturday - Sunday, September 14/15/16

11:00 PM - 02:00 AM - Chill at a bar.
02:00 AM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:00 AM - 08:00 AM - KTV.
09:00 AM - 12:00 PM - SLEEP (3 HOURS).
02:00 PM - 10:00 PM - Hang out with girl(s).
11:00 PM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:00 AM - 06:30 AM - Breakfast.
08:00 AM - 10:00 AM - SLEEP (2 HOURS).
11:00 AM - 01:00 PM - Teach English.
03:00 PM - 01:00 AM - Poker.
05:00 AM - 11:00 AM - SLEEP (6 HOURS).

Saturday - Sunday - Monday, September 21/22/23

10:00 PM - 01:00 AM - Party at a hotel.
01:30 AM - 03:00 AM - Chill at a bar.
03:00 AM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:30 AM - 07:30 AM - KTV.
09:00 AM - 01:00 PM - SLEEP (4 HOURS).
01:00 PM - 07:00 PM - <Forgot>
07:00 PM - 02:00 AM - Poker.
02:00 AM - 03:00 AM - Bar.
03:30 AM - 05:30 AM - KTV.
07:00 AM - 12:00 PM - SLEEP (5 HOURS).

Friday - Saturday - Sunday, September 28/29/30

11:00 PM - 01:00 AM - Comedy show.
01:30 AM - 02:30 AM - Clubbing.
02:30 AM - 04:30 AM - Clubbing.
05:00 AM - 08:00 AM - KTV.
09:00 AM - 12:00 PM - SLEEP (3 HOURS).
11:00 PM - 01:30 AM - Comedy show.
01:30 AM - 03:00 AM - Bar.
03:30 AM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:30 AM - 08:30 AM - Party at a hotel.
09:30 AM - 10:30 AM - SLEEP (1 HOUR).
11:00 AM - 01:00 PM - Teach English.
02:00 PM - 04:00 PM - Church.
05:00 PM - 07:00 PM - Ultimate Frisbee.
08:00 PM - What? I have nothing planned tonight???? This is ridiculous!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 03:57:36 GMT

Chris TOE phr (12:44:51 PM): i hooked up with xxxxxx xxxx last night

Chris TOE phr (12:44:53 PM): it was great

WLoCOMoTW (12:48:39 PM): im happy for you

Chris TOE phr (12:45:00 PM): this time the moped was moving

WLoCOMoTW (12:48:59 PM): woo, you've advanced

Chris TOE phr (12:45:21 PM): and we hit up 3 different 7-11's

Chris TOE phr (12:45:36 PM): and collected hello kitty points at each one

WLoCOMoTW (12:49:21 PM): dont lie, no way you can last that long

Chris TOE phr (12:45:51 PM): i drank super supau

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:16:50 GMT

Chris TOE phr (4:02:47 AM): just met up with xxxxxxx xxxx.

WLoCOMoTW (4:07:23 AM): is she there the whole summer?

Chris TOE phr (4:02:59 AM): she confessed her love for me and wants me to marry her

Chris TOE phr (4:03:10 AM): i said i'm only interested in the sex

Chris TOE phr (4:03:15 AM): and she said "okay, that's fine too"

Chris TOE phr (4:03:24 AM): so we did it on a moped

WLoCOMoTW (4:07:52 AM): haha, you wish

Chris TOE phr (4:03:30 AM): next to a 7-11

WLoCOMoTW (4:08:08 AM): thats how I do it..

Chris TOE phr (4:03:58 AM): that's why i wanted to do it. you are my role model.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 17:58:00 GMT

This is why I'm hot:

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 19:09:54 GMT

TWO possible outcomes for the mosquito that disappeared after it bit my ass while I was taking a dump:

A: I laid a giant, steaming turd onto it, forcing it to ingest my crap for the duration of its long and torturous journey through sewage before meeting its death.

B: It flew up my ass, carrying diseases like West Nile and malaria and yellow fever (shouldn't I be immune to that last one? I am an Asian man named Yellow, after all.), and now it's sucking the blood directly out of my colon.

I sincerely hope it's not the latter.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 19:33:16 GMT

Hit by a car on Tuesday. Walking in front of a stopped car, the crazy woman decides to just go. Hits my leg as I jump in the air and smack the hood of the car. She stops.

Didn't hurt though. I'm invincible.

Hit by a car on Friday. Crossing a street on my walk signal. Taxi barely misses me with his hood. Common thing... no big deal. Then comes the side mirror, which hits me in my gut at about 25 mph. The impact pitches my head forward so my face comes within inches of being shaved off by the rest of the car. Cabbie drives off.

I'm still invincible, but that did hurt a little.

Found mold in the walls of my apartment on Sunday. Mold can kill people. Or at least makes your bread taste funny and furry. I'm now looking for a new place to live.

*EDIT*

Hit by food poisoning by I don't know where, and I don't know when. Nauseous. Become really good friends with my toilet. Haven't eaten in 2 days. Body aches all over. Still hurting.

Taiwan STILL hates me and wants me to die. Not enough people are signing the petition telling it to stop.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 19:26:38 GMT

Looks vs. Personality

Round 1

Would you rather have a flawless diamond... in a moldy animal crackers box?

.... or a priceless Ming vase... filled with crap?

Round 2

Would you rather have a flawless diamond... in a Coach handbag?

.... or a priceless Ming vase... filled with fresh sushi?

Round 3

Would you rather have a flawless diamond... in a priceless Ming vase?

.... or crap... in a moldy animal crackers box?

Explanation for the slow:

Round 1 pits an A+ personality/F looks against an A+ looks/F personality.
Round 2 pits an A+ personality/C looks against an A+ looks/C personality.
Round 3 pits a Christopher Huang against an F looks/F personality... cuz some people are dreamers, and some just want a challenge.