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| We really are brothers....
Oliver: haha
Oliver: poop time
Oliver: brb
Huanger: HAHAHAHA
Huanger: i'm just about to go poo
Oliver: haha nice
Huanger: we're brothers
Oliver: we're brothers
Huanger: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oliver: HAHAHAHA
Oliver: DAAAAAAAAANGIT
Huanger: DANGIT
Sent at 10:58 PM on Sunday
hahahahaha, daaaangit..... | | |
| Self-Publicity Entry
Okay. So most of you know me for what I am: a talentless, ungifted, goofy-looking, awkward person. Who has a lot of enthusiasm. And that's in line with my personal motto: All heart, no talent.
It explains the marathon in 2006 that I ran without training for, on a torn IT band in my right leg. I limped my way through for a 5:15 finish.
It explains the World Championship Jalapeno Eating Contest I placed 6th in, behind the big names of competitive eaters like Sonya Thomas, Pat Bertoletti, and Rich LeFevre, despite being previously unable to take the heat of anything marked past "Mild." I ended up putting down 53 jalapenos in 8 minutes.
And it explains my next project, to take place sometime in October. Supposedly, the U.S. record for most miles run in 48 hours is 203, and it was set in a race last year(?). The record holder is a guy that runs about a marathon every morning. I'm attempting something close to that. I'm going to run a non-stop, unsupported 200 miles from Houston to Austin. No, I haven't trained for it, nor will I.* I'm just going to take two days off of work, run to Austin, and catch a ride back to Houston.
*Too many people ask about training. But to me, that's the silliest question. Why would I do a run that I train for? How would that be challenging? How is it exciting to see someone do something they are PREPARED to do? It's like seeing Michael Jordan dunk a basketball. Of course he can do it; he trained for it! I want to see a TODDLER dunk. MUCH more significant, don't you think?
Also, I'm looking for a charity that I could fundraise for with this run. Any suggestions? Hurricane Ike relief organizations?
P.S. - I'm taking bets. Any takers?
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| I can't date just any girl.
There is a specific list of qualifications she must meet. For most guys, this list may highlight such things as personality type, religion, and cup size, but I have a unique item: she must not have already met my brother.
I like my brother. Also, I am like my brother. We are so similar. We are so god-dang like the same person, that you could say to us, "want ice cream cone?" and both of us say "yes." Except...........
My brother is better than me.
I can sometimes stay on key when I sing, but...
He has perfect pitch.
I attract lots of attention and smiles on the dance floor, but...
He attracts positive attention and smiles of admiration on the dance floor.
I may be really, really, ridiculously good-looking, but...
He is like Hansel; he's so hot right now.
I can bench press the bar, but...
He can bench press me.
I can make girls laugh when they see me, but...
He can make girls laugh when they talk to him.
He can run pretty fast, while...
I can run... Microsoft Office.
He can play lots of musical instruments, while...
I know how to spell the names of lots of musical instruments.
He can throw a good party, while...
I once invited over 150 people to my own birthday party, and the first person to show up was 3 hours late.
He graduated from college, while...
I failed 4 math classes in HIGH SCHOOL.
He is so sweet, while...
I threatened to beat him up if he ever grew taller than me (to this day, I remain about 1/16" taller).
So, you see? Unless she is just trying to be charitable, there's no way a girl would pick me over my brother. For me to introduce a girl to my brother is the equivalent of saying, "yeah, I'm not interested, and to prove it, I'm going to rule myself out."
Conclusion:
- If you're a girl, and I've introduced you to my brother, don't worry: I just want to be friends.
- If you're a girl, and I have NOT introduced you to my brother, then please go out with me. That way I already lock you into some sort of commitment before you meet him. Thanks for your cooperation.
P.S. - Coming soon: Top 10 Compilation of my best entries, in light of the apparent near-demise of Xanga.
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| In tribute to the only person I subscribe to that actually posts on Xanga, I have made an Anna Chen-style post, and listed the itinerary of my recent weekends. What do you think? Pretty dull, huh?
Friday - Saturday - Sunday, September 7/8/9 (The 16-hours-of-KTV-in-a-day Weekend)
10:00 PM - 01:00 AM - All-you-can-drink Wine-Tasting Party
05:00 AM - 12:00PM - SLEEP (5 HOURS).
09:00 PM - 12:00 AM - Seafood dinner involving 2.5 liters of beer.
12:30 AM - 07:30 AM - KTV, singing some songs 5 times.
10:30 AM - 12:30 PM - SLEEP (2 HOURS).
01:00 PM - 10:00 PM - KTV, singing the same songs we sang the previous night another 6 times.
10:00 PM - 12:00 AM - Night market.
12:00 AM - 05:00 AM - Movies on my computer.
05:00 AM - 10:00 AM - SLEEP (5 HOURS).
Friday - Saturday - Sunday, September 14/15/16
11:00 PM - 02:00 AM - Chill at a bar.
02:00 AM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:00 AM - 08:00 AM - KTV.
09:00 AM - 12:00 PM - SLEEP (3 HOURS).
02:00 PM - 10:00 PM - Hang out with girl(s).
11:00 PM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:00 AM - 06:30 AM - Breakfast.
08:00 AM - 10:00 AM - SLEEP (2 HOURS).
11:00 AM - 01:00 PM - Teach English.
03:00 PM - 01:00 AM - Poker.
05:00 AM - 11:00 AM - SLEEP (6 HOURS).
Saturday - Sunday - Monday, September 21/22/23
10:00 PM - 01:00 AM - Party at a hotel.
01:30 AM - 03:00 AM - Chill at a bar.
03:00 AM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:30 AM - 07:30 AM - KTV.
09:00 AM - 01:00 PM - SLEEP (4 HOURS).
01:00 PM - 07:00 PM - <Forgot>
07:00 PM - 02:00 AM - Poker.
02:00 AM - 03:00 AM - Bar.
03:30 AM - 05:30 AM - KTV.
07:00 AM - 12:00 PM - SLEEP (5 HOURS).
Friday - Saturday - Sunday, September 28/29/30
11:00 PM - 01:00 AM - Comedy show.
01:30 AM - 02:30 AM - Clubbing.
02:30 AM - 04:30 AM - Clubbing.
05:00 AM - 08:00 AM - KTV.
09:00 AM - 12:00 PM - SLEEP (3 HOURS).
11:00 PM - 01:30 AM - Comedy show.
01:30 AM - 03:00 AM - Bar.
03:30 AM - 05:00 AM - Clubbing.
05:30 AM - 08:30 AM - Party at a hotel.
09:30 AM - 10:30 AM - SLEEP (1 HOUR).
11:00 AM - 01:00 PM - Teach English.
02:00 PM - 04:00 PM - Church.
05:00 PM - 07:00 PM - Ultimate Frisbee.
08:00 PM - What? I have nothing planned tonight???? This is ridiculous!
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Chris TOE phr (12:44:51 PM): i hooked up with xxxxxx xxxx last night
Chris TOE phr (12:44:53 PM): it was great WLoCOMoTW (12:48:39 PM): im happy for you Chris TOE phr (12:45:00 PM): this time the moped was moving WLoCOMoTW (12:48:59 PM): woo, you've advanced Chris TOE phr (12:45:21 PM): and we hit up 3 different 7-11's Chris TOE phr (12:45:36 PM): and collected hello kitty points at each one WLoCOMoTW (12:49:21 PM): dont lie, no way you can last that long Chris TOE phr (12:45:51 PM): i drank super supau
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